The Marriage Covenant

Christian marriage is a covenant. In fact, any marriage between a man and a woman is a covenant. That’s why marriage is so much under attack in these modern times. Who would have ever thought that twenty years ago the biggest fight for conservative values would be whether two women can be married to each other, or two men can have a marriage contract with each other? Marriage is a specific contract and not just an agreement or legal document.

It is a covenant and being in a covenant means that it is a binding and permanent agreement sealed by blood. That is why it is so important that you choose your mate prayerfully and seek godly council before you make such a very crucial decision. If it is truly a covenant marriage and intended by God, it is meant to last a lifetime. And I might add once again, it is truly one of life’s greatest blessings given to us by God when you have one.

Don’s story: it was almost thirty years ago that I was driving down the road with my best friend Francis Burkhart and God revealed to me who my wife was going to be. In a moment of nodding away, He gave me a vision of my wife’s feet. They were side by side and glowing with a bright light. My buddy looked at me as I looked puzzled and he said, “what’s the matter? I replied, “I just had a vision of my wife’s feet.” He looked puzzled since I didn’t even have a girlfriend at the time. Not many weeks later during a church service in a new church we were attending I would see those feet with the light shining on them. Eleven weeks later from that day I was married to that woman, and it has been the best 29 years of my life so far. Susie truly is the love of my life.

Susie’s Story: It was during a revival at our church when I first laid eyes on Don. He had come to the services with his friend. After revival he continued to come to services. He brought his two little girls with him and usually sat right in front of me. I had three children of my own and the kids became fast friends. I never knew that would be the beginning of a whole new life for me.

Marriage is a covenant of faithfulness.

Malachi 2:14 – 16(KJV)yet ye say, wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. ¹⁵And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore, take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. ¹⁶For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore, take heed to your spirit that ye deal not treacherously.

When a couple decides to join together in holy matrimony and consummate the marriage on their wedding night, they become one with each other in unity, mind and body. The marriage covenant joins a man and a woman not only in the physical body, but in a bond of unity as well. They are connected spiritually and emotionally in about everything they do. Marriage is best described as the willingness to relinquish your right to serve only yourself and your own wishes, and to serve another’s wishes over your own. The challenge is for you and your spouse to love and serve each other in the new concept of US instead of just I.

In the biblical text of this chapter we see that the marriage covenant brings responsibility. That’s why every effort is made to make the marriage ceremony as awesome and solemn as possible. It’s an irrevocable covenant of faithfulness unto death that is being entered into by both parties. Knowing this we should enter into marriage with the idea and mindset that divorce is never an option. It’s till death do us part! At least it should be. Since that is the way God views marriage, we should never enter into marriage with a person whose spirit is not clean- even if there is a strong physical attraction. Remember marriage is also for better or worse.

Don’s Story; I believe that one of the great successes of our marriage was the decisions to make two major agreements with each other at the beginning of our marriage. First, we decided that we would never say the D word in our marriage. There would never be the threat of that word in this contract. Secondly, we would never sleep mad at each other in separate beds. Now guys, I have never had to sleep on the couch or find a doghouse to cuddle up in. Yet I will admit that my wife has slept on about a foot of bed before, but we have never slept separate mad at each other.

Susie’s Story; In the beginning of our marriage things were not easy. We were combining two families. I made the commitment to my husband to stand beside of him, no matter what. There was a period in my life where that meant stepping away from my extended family and clinging to my husband. To which I have never regretted

Now you single people reading this are thinking that the marriage covenant doesn’t apply to you since you are not married. Wrong! According to the bible even if you aren’t involved in a natural marriage you are married to the Lord Himself! Ladies He is your husband and men He is your wife.

1 Corinthians 7:34; (KJV) There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

Today marriage and family are the number one target of the enemy. The devil knows that God hates divorce, which is referring to divorces that have no unfaithfulness by either party involved. God himself even divorced Israel when she became unfaithful to Him in Jeremiah 2 and Hosea. That’s the only thing that breaks the covenant contract- unfaithfulness. Now I might add that God doesn’t require that we get divorced because of unfaithfulness, but instead He gives us permission. If a couple can work it out and forgive the guilty spouse, which they probably should, because that is God’s perfect plan.

Matthew 19:3 – 9 (KJV) ³The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? ⁴And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, ⁵And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? ⁶Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. ⁷They say unto him, why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? ⁸He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. ⁹And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

So since staying married is so hard these days and we live in a constant attack against our relationship with each other, what are we to do? That question was even asked by the disciples, so this is what you must do. You must learn to guard your heart for out of it flows the issues of life. Your heart represents your spirit.

The book of James is filled with wisdom on how to set a guard on your spirit to protect your marriage from demonic attack. Remember as soon as you think your safe look out. Let’s now look at three things that you have to do to guard and protect your marriage covenant.

The first thing we need to do is Guard our words…

James 3:8 – 10 (KJV) But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. ⁹Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. ¹⁰Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.

Since the tongue is the easiest thing for Satan to control, he tries vigorously to control it. You see words produce a harvest that can’t be recalled. Hurtful words go deep into our spirit only to resurface later and bring another harvest to fruition.

Words are the material that Satan uses to develop arguments against us in the spirit world. So knowing this fact should instruct us to never use words or phrases that threaten the strength of the covenant. Instead we should learn to keep our mouth shut if we can’t say any good things. Now I must say that this is easier to say than to do when you are in a loud discussion with your spouse.

The second thing we should do is set a guard on is our attitude…

James 3:13 – 18 (KJV)¹³Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? Let him show out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. ¹⁴But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. ¹⁵This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. ¹⁶For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. ¹⁷But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. ¹⁸And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.

Bitterness is a deep seated anger over not being treated fairly. It quickly forms into a grudge. Jealousy is competition and ambition and selfishness that is earthly and unspiritual and of course of the devil.

But instead of these ungodly attitudes we should seek to display the eight heavenly attitudes that are described in God’s word. Trust me if you display these attitudes they will make your marriage strong. They are purity, peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy, good fruit, impartial, sincerity. All of these virtues promise to sow peace and not strife in a marriage.

And finally we must guard our desires…

James 4:1 – 6(KJV)¹From whence come wars and fighting’s among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? ²Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. ³Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. ⁴Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. ⁵Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, the spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? ⁶But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

Within our heart is a constant battle against evil desires. We are always looking for battles with the devil and most of them are right in our grey matter. These are desires for pleasures at any cost even at the forfeit of our faithfulness. If we improperly handle the sexual part of our life and become unfaithful to our spouse it will destroy our marriage.

Some people have improper financial desires like always wanting more and that creates too much debt and pressure and that puts a strain on even a good marriage. One of the biggest fights in most marriages is when one of the partners is living in a constant state of wantonness for the things of this world. Now before you get too depressed on me realize that we have the Holy Spirit as our secret weapon against all and any evil desire. All we have to do is apply the three step plan He gives us to defeat the devil completely.

Humble yourself before God…which means to be broken before him.

Resist the devil…Repent and recognize the true threat that you face.

Draw close to God…Daily pray and seek His will for your life.

Only after we do these things can we maintain a life-giving marriage of partnership and blessing.